In Absentia
by belladonnacordial
Summary: Slash! SSHP HBP spoilers! Harry is spiraling toward a very dark destiny. Only his extremely dangerous lover and Albus Dumbledore know the truth. Warnings for sex, mad!Dumbledore, adult themes, a Slytherin plot, and a bit of fluff to tug at your heart.
1. Chapter 1

In Absentia

Harry shivered under his Invisibility Cloak. He could not tell whether it was merely the chilling dampness of the dungeons, his anticipation, his nervousness, or his desire. His eyes were wide; his mouth dry. He tried not to worry, tried not to think about the possibility of rejection. Why should this time be different from the last time, the time before that, or the time-? Why was Harry always like this?

When he got to the door he was shaking and very glad for his cloak. Harry raised his hand to knock then unclenched his fist and merely stroked the snake carved in relief into the cold wood. He moved quickly out of the way when the door swung violently open. A hand snatched him by the collar and dragged him inside. Snape closed and warded the door, turned Harry forcefully to face it, and pressed him into the wood with his body. Since Harry could not see much of anything anyway he closed his eyes.

"So, Potter."

Snape's hot breath ghosted against his neck. Harry supressed another shiver.

"Gryffindor's Golden Boy afraid to knock? How disappointing. Don't you think I can -feel- you lingering just on the other side of my door? Admittedly, I did not expect you back again so soon, not after last time."

Harry felt Snape's voice rather than hearing it. It snaked into his ear coiling around his brain before swiftly slithering its way to more southern parts of Harry's anatomy. "Mmmm," was all Harry could manage to say.

"My, you are quiet tonight. Quiet and invisible will never do. Tell me why you allow, no, entice your ugly, greasy Dark Arts professor to punish your nearly virginal flesh with his-"

"You're not ugly."

"Perhaps I am a bat, Potter, but you are blind as one."

"You're beautiful to me."

"Mad too. Just what would your little girlfriend say?"

"You just leave Ginny out of this!"

"Finally some fire. Shall I leave her out? Perhaps you should bring her down here with you. Do you think she'd like to watch- what I -do- to you? Or maybe-"

Harry tried desperately to avoid thinking about the words. He concentrated instead on the sound, the scents, the polished wood, books, potions ingredients, wool, and fragrance of Snape. He was breathing heavily nearly as heavily as Snape who was breathing directly into his ear. Suddenly Snape stepped back and pulled him away from the door so only his hand pressed against it bracing his weight. He felt Snape lifting his Invisibility Cloak, felt practiced fingers at the front of his jeans, and felt his jeans drop around his ankles.

"I have never fucked anyone who was invisible before, not even your father."

Harry's lips tried to form some sort of reply. He ended up sucking air through his teeth when extremely cold lubricant-slicked fingers began working their way into his heat. Harry pressed back against them and moaned.

"Potter, you really are delightfully weak. If the Dark Lord only knew that all it would take to get you eating out of his hand was-"

"Shut UP!"

"MAKE me."

"Oh-God!"

"Well that's one word for me, I suppose. How Muggle, how quaint." Snape pulled nearly all the way out and thrust into him again pummelling his prostate making Harry see stars, quite literally. Then Snape pulled back and oh so slowly pressed in just nudging his cockshead against Harry's prostate. Then he just stopped.

"Now then, I think its time we had a little chat, Potter."

"Wha- what?"

"A conversation, dialogue, conference, verbal exchange, social intercourse, if you will. I know you are familiar with -that- concept."

"What? Talk? Now?"

"Why not?" Snape pressed forward ever so slightly. Harry arched his back and made perhaps the most pathetic whimper that had ever escaped his lips. That sound alone cleared Harry's brain. What the fuck?

"What the fuck!"

"Language, Potter. I can always stop. Can you say the same? Do feel free to leave. Perhaps you are tired and need your rest? Should I send you back to the towers for your delicate health?"

"No!"

"Then do -try- to behave yourself."

Harry let out a breath he had been holding. He felt completely insane. He tried pushing backwards.

"None of that. How rude! We are talking, Mr. Potter. Has no one else ever attempted to teach you manners?"

"Please!"

"Better. Please what, Harry?"

_Harry?_

"Oh God, I'm-" Harry shuddered and came. Snape's thrusts came fast and furious after. Every single one pounded his prostate as if Snape thought that there could never be too much pleasure in Harry's universe. Snape came laughing, probably at him, Harry realized. Snape pushed Harry away from him immediately, tucked himself into his trousers and smoothed his clothes looking for all the world as if nothing had just happened between them.

"Are you still here, Mr. Potter?"

"No sir. Goodnight."

When the door closed behind his imaginary lover Snape uttered a cleaning spell, warded it again, poured himself a cup of tea, and sat staring into the flames.

_You're beautiful to me._

This time it was Snape's turn to shudder. None of this matters, he reminded himself. Dumbledore's suicidal plans would take care of any- softness- the boy might feel toward him. He took a sip and willed himself with all his might not to feel so- not to feel anything at all.


	2. Chapter 2

In Absentia

Part Two

Two nights later Potter did knock. The door opened for him. Harry closed the door behind him.

Snape sat in a chair by the fire reading. He did not bother to look up.

"Your services are not required, Potter. Why don't you go bother your little girlfriend, instead."

"For fuck sake, she's not my girlfriend! She's my best friend's sister!"

Snake looked up at him and raised an elegant eyebrow.

"Yet somehow she holds that place in your mind. That is even more pathetic."

"You couldn't have seen Ginny when- You've been in my mind lately, haven't you?"

"What if I have. Do you think I am the only one who has taken a peek? You can't keep me out when you -know- what I'm trying to do. It doesn't take a Legilimens of my skill to catch you when preoccupied. As dedicated as your studies in Occlumency, you may as well tattoo a welcome sign on your forehead. Oh, I forgot, you already have one. Do you believe you will suddenly discover hidden talent as an Occlumens to complement your newfound skills at impressing Potions professors?"

"Look, I can understand being jealous of Ginny, but not of Slughorn."

"That's Professor Slughorn, Potter. Just because he hasn't caught you cheating yet do not imagine the man is a complete fool. He simply does not have the misfortune of knowing you as well as I do. As for being jealous, I am of my lovers, generally. However, I'd gladly send you off to either Slughorn or Miss Weasley, or anyone else sad enough to have you for that matter. What does this tell you?"

"That I make you feel secure, sir?"

"Talking to you is a waste of my time."

"You seemed to want to talk the last time."

"That was a sex game, Potter, a feeble attempt to relieve my boredom. Legilimency aside, I have never been interested in you for your mind."

"Why are you interested in me?"

"Ever a mystery, deepening by the moment."

"Would you like me to leave, sir?"

"I thought I had made that abundantly clear upon your arrival."

"Please sir, what did I do wrong?"

"What have you ever done right, Potter? Let us concentrate on that. It is a much shorter list."

"Would you like me to come back at a better time?"

"No."

"So you want me to leave and not come back, not ever?"

"As Muggles would say, the penny has dropped."

Instead of moving closer to the door Harry drew closer to Snape.

"Must we have a scene, Potter?"

"No, I have a last request."

"I did not realize you were dying."

"Something is."

"Spare me the histrionics. What do you want?"

"Just a kiss. You've never kissed me. I always hoped you might."

"Potter-"

"Please?"

"No. Just leave."

"Why not? If you won't kiss me at least tell me why you won't."

"I don't kiss whores, Mr. Potter."

Harry smiled.

"Well that might actually have worked had I not been a virgin or if you were paying me in some way. You've never even offer me a cup of tea! I just don't see how anyone who is having sex gets any farther from being a whore. Besides, I know you want to kiss me or you wouldn't keep looking at my lips."

"I was merely considering whether or not I could fulfill your request without making myself ill. I find I can not. Let me rephase the my answer for you. I do not kiss people whom I have no more feeling for than I would a whore. Happy now? Be gone, Potter. I wish I could say it has been a pleasure."

"You're lying to me. You've never lied to me before not once in all the time I've known you. I know you wouldn't bother doing it now unless you felt you had no other choice. So tell me why you are doing this. Are you trying to protect me? Do you think you are being noble some how? Hurt me a little now rather than hurting me a lot later? Have you decided that I can do better than an ex- Death Eater? Is Dumbledore making you do this?"

Severus finally stood. "I should have known that your Gryffindor arrogance would preclude you from believing a simple truth in favour of some outlandish conspiracy theory. The truth is that I find you a substandard sexual partner, Potter, not only because of your inexperience, which I decided to overlook hoping that you might actually have natural talents beyond catching snitches and not dying from the Dark Lord's Avada Kedavra. Sadly for me, and all future wizards or witches whom you will fixate your sexual attentions upon, you couldn't fuck your way out of an Ice Mice wrapper."

"I really do think I could fuck my way out of one of them. Now, a Chocolate Frog wrapper, on the other hand-"

"Take your schoolboy humour back to the towers with you where it might be appreciated."

"You are a fine one to talk."

"Potter-"

"You might as well just tell me. I'm not leaving here until you do."

Snape sat down again and dug the heels of his hands into the throbbing headache behind his eyes. Harry climbed into his lap, staddling his hips with his knees. He stroked Snape's hair gently. Severus leaned forward and pulled Harry into his arms. They stayed like that a while.

"Please tell me, Severus," Harry said softly.

"No. You do not want to know."

"I can assure you that I do."

"Not like this."

Snape levitated another chair over.

"But I like your lap."

"I can not tell you like this."

Reluctantly, Harry slid off Snape's lap and pulled the chair a little closer. He sat. Snape took a deep breath.

"Before the year started I took an Unbreakable Vow at the request of Narcissa Malfoy."

"What's an Unbreakable Vow?"

"A vow, break it and die. I agreed to kill Dumbledore so that Draco who was ordered to do so by the Dark Lord would not have to commit a murder or become one."

"Why would you vow something like that?"

"Do you think I'd trade the life of one flea on a dungeon rat for that snotty inbred runt? Of course I would. Do you think I'd trade Dumbledore for him?"

"So you are just going to die?"

"I had already made an Unbreakable Vow years ago, to serve Albus Dumbledore to the best of my ability. I agreed to take that vow not because Dumbledore insisted, he did not, but because I correctly believed that it would help me to combat the psychological effects of the Dark Mark. You may have noticed that many Death Eaters-"

"Are completely bonkers? Yeah, I have noticed that."

"The first vow taken, in this case the one to serve Dumbledore, always takes precedence. Any vow made after and at cross purposes simply should not work. Had I been unwilling to take the second vow, I would have endangered my position as a spy. I expected the magic of the second vow not to take, which likely would not have reflected poorly upon me, but would have raised serious doubts regarding the loyalty of our bonder, who just happened to be Bellatrix Black. Discrediting one of the Dark Lords most fiercely loyal would have been a very good days work for me. However the spell did work. When I informed Dumbledore, he told me that the spell worked because it perfectly complemented his plans. That is when he informed me of the nature of those plans, such as they were at the time.

For his plans to work, he needs you to hate me passionately. First he suggested that I rape you. I could have done it, Mr. Potter, but did not wish it. So I talked him out of the idea, by pointing out that, should you decide to go public with allegations of rape, you have sufficient prestige and supporters, not only to have me arrested, if I were to remain here to be caught, but also to close down Hogwarts whether I was here or not. I talked him into the idea of seduction followed by verbal and emotional abuse as a way to generate an effective grudge. Neither of us counted on the fact that you would find my outrageous treatment of you acceptable. I never imagined that in the course of acting my part in this deception that I would come to harbour very real feelings for you. In retrospect, I am certain that Dumbledore counted on the fact.

Last night, Dumbledore decided that we should have one more night together. A perfect one- I would make love to you instead of just fucking you. I would confess my love for you, make any promise that you wished to hear, ask you to marry me even if it seemed appropriate. Then next time, I break it off cruelly as if it were all just a joke for my own amusement. I found I could not go through with that."

"But you could have raped me?"

"Not now."

"Someone else?"

"Potter, you are so innocent. Do you think I am reformed? I am Dumbledore's pet Death Eater. Do you think he wants to get his hands dirty? I am invaluable because I do his bidding and do not get caught. If I ever should get caught- well what did anyone expect? So long as I do not get caught I am redeemed by the great man.

At any rate, tonight I decided to skip straight to the break up. As you can see my revised plan was less than successful."

"Why would he want me to hate you so much?"

"Because he wants you to murder me, Mr. Potter."


	3. Chapter 3

In Absentia

Part Three

"Murder you? I won't. I wouldn't. Not under any circumstance."

"He thinks that you will. I do tend to agree with him. You see, after I break it off I act suspiciously until Dumbledore is the only one who isn't convinced that I'm a loyal Death Eater. At the same time, he becomes the father that you never knew, or the great-great-grandfather at least. That is when I kill Dumbledore right in front of your eyes fulfilling both of my Unbreakable Vows. You kill the traitor to avenge Dumbledore. You kill the Dark Lord. You immediately find out that you are a horcrux, that I was innocent, at least of the crime for which you killed me and was acting under Dumbledore's orders, who you will be convinced was a saint. You also find out that you were the love of my life. That part is true I'm afraid. You, as the theory goes, will not be able to live with the guilt. You therefore will kill yourself and save the world. Very Shakespearean, is it not?"

"I don't understand why."

"You are the last horcrux, Harry. Not Nagini, not the Sorting Hat, not Helga Hufflepuff's kitchenware."

"What's a horcrux?"

"Merlin, I told him we should have just told you, but no, everything has to be an adventure. The Dark Lord separated his soul and put parts of it away for safe keeping, so when he dies, he comes back because all of his soul never dies with him. These vessels that hold a part of his soul are horcruxes. All of his soul must die for him to be defeated. Dumbledore nearly died years ago dismantling a horcrux that your godfather's idiot brother stole from the Dark Lord. You are the only wizard on earth with the power to dismantle you, except perhaps for the Dark Lord, but he doesn't want you dead. Dumbledore, until recently, thought he would be the one who would kill you after the final battle, but he's old and dying. He has another year at the outside. His power is half of what it was six months ago. Personally, I doubt he has had the power to kill you for a year or more. He doesn't trust you to kill yourself just because it is the right thing to do and because it will defeat the Dark Lord who murdered your parents. I am his insurance. He believes you will not be able to live with yourself when you find out that you murdered in cold blood someone who loved you with all his heart."

"He's right, Severus."

"I know."

"But I-"

Wandless and wordless, Snape cast Obliviate and Stupefy then picked up Harry from the chair and moved him to a couch.

Harry woke with Snape looming over him.

"Potter what is the meaning of this?"

"Huh?"

"You were unconscious outside of my door."

"I'm sorry sir. I remember coming down to the dungeons- My cloak!"

"It is here Potter."

"Oh. I sort of feel like I've been Stupefied, sir."

"A Slytherin prank perhaps. Still I shall have to report this incident to the Headmaster. You may stay here. I should not be gone long."

Snape tossed some floo powder, called, "Headmaster Dumbledore's Office," and disappeared.

Harry tried to think back. He remembered making his way through the dungeons. He remembered looking at the snake carved on Snape's door. That was all there was. He didn't hear or see anyone. Harry rubbed the back of his head and then both elbows. He didn't feel like he had fallen down onto a stone floor. He had certainly done that enough times to know what it feels like. Could someone have caught him? Why would any Slytherin who wanted to cast Stupefy on him in the first place bother to catch him? It just didn't make any sense. Harry was starting to doubt that he had been hit with a Stupefy. How else would he have ended up on the floor? Just as Snape returned something clicked in Harry's head.

"Sir, I've been thinking about what happened to me. This might sound crazy but-"

"Yes?"

"Well, you found me on the stone floor, but I don't feel like I've fallen down on one. I remember coming through the dungeons until I got to your door, but I don't remember anything else. I don't remember being unconscious if that makes any sense. I don't remember anything until I woke up on the couch."

"Your point, Potter?"

"I think someone may have cast an Obliviate on me. I never would have thought about it except that I don't have any bruises on my-"

Snape cursed himself for his weakness. Good thing the boy would be the end of him. Wordless and wandless, Snape cast another Obliviate and Stupefy. He picked Harry up, dropped him on the floor, picked him up again, and set him down gently on the couch.

Ennervate!

Harry woke with Snape looming over him.

"Potter what is the meaning of this?"

"Huh? Oh ouch!"

"I found you unconscious outside of my door."

"I sort of feel like I've been Stupefied, sir."

"I should report this to the Head Master."

"It was probably just a prank, sir. A few bruises, I'm not hurt."

"Well, I'm certain the Head Master will find out if he does not know already." Snape handed him bottle. "Here, drink this."

He did and handed the bottle back to Snape. "Thank you."

"How do you feel now?"

Harry rubbed the back of his head and both elbows. "Better."

Snape caught one of Harry's hand with both of his. Snape's fingers cradled his hand while his thumbs started to massage Harry's palm. Who knew how good something like that could feel? Somehow it seemed so much more intimate than anything else that Snape had ever done to him. Gods, Harry would have paid someone to cast Stupefy on him if he'd known that-

"Would you care to stay the night?"

"You'd let me?"

"I would like it very much if you would."

"Well, um, yes sir. I'd like to. Thank you for asking me."

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

Harry smiled. Gods, Snape must have been really worried about him! Harry wanted a cup of tea in the worst way, if only to offset the taste of the potion in his mouth. But wouldn't that mean that Severus would let go of his hand?

"No thank you, sir."

Just then Snape did let go but only to pick up Harry's other hand.

"Have I ever told you that I think you have kissable lips?"

"No sir. You did once mention that my hair looked like something that had not survived an electrical storm."

"I stand by that. I also think you have kissable lips, Mr. Potter."

"Would you- like to kiss them, sir?"

"Not especially. I would rather kiss all of you but would be most happy to start with your lips."


	4. Chapter 4

In Absentia

Part Four

"Wait! I, um, I taste like that potion you gave me."

"You -are- a wizard, Mr. Potter."

"When I'm not in danger I do tend to forget that."

"Who said that you are not in danger? You are at this very moment in grave danger of being kissed by your horrible, old, ugly, mean, perverted Dark Arts professor. Anyone else would run screaming."

"Good that I'm not anyone else then, isn't it, sir?"

"Allow me."

Suddenly Harry's mouth flooded with the flavour of chocolate. Snape's mouth, he soon found out, tasted of coconut.

"Oh! Mmm!"

Before Severus' tongue distracted him completely Harry wondered if it were just coincidence that chocolate and coconut was one of his very favourite combinations.

True to his words, Severus very thoroughly kissed Harry's mouth then moved on to explore his face, ears, neck, chest, arms and hands. Snape stripped him of clothing manually as he went, spelled off his own when they got in his way, and pushed Potter toward his bedroom. There he took his sweet time never missing a single inch of flesh and lingering languorously to torture Harry's most sensitive spots with teasing tongue, hot breath, nearly unbearable suction, and very sharp teeth. Severus kissed his stomach, hips, thighs (outer and inner) and chuckled evilly when Harry groaned plaintively for skipping over what Harry considered the best parts only to move on to his knees, calves, and feet. Eventually, Severus worked his way back up. At long last, Harry felt warm breath on his very attentive cock.

"Potter, we should talk first."

"OH FOR FUCKSAKE! Ouch! Don't pinch me there."

"Do not swear- or at least wait until you are in the throes of passion."

"I would be there right now, if you would just-"

"Patience is a virtue that I reward very well, Mr. Potter."

"All right, I'm listening."

"I wondered if you would you care to try a special lubricant?"

"Special how?"

"You -will- enjoy it."

"Okay. You've convinced me."

"Accio Insanity."

A large black jar with a silver lid flew into Snape's hand.

"Hold on a minute. Insanity?"

"A rose by any other name. But if you do not trust me-"

Harry touched his forearm, fingers encircling the Dark Mark and said,

"I do trust you. I just want to know what it does."

Snape looked completely taken aback.

"It must be the blue moon."

"What?

"A display of common sense from a Gryffindor at long last! Certainly this must mark some occasion worth celebrating? This lubricant heats up, absorbs into skin and muscle tissues, turns any part of the body into an erogenous zone, and causes erogenous zones to feel rather well pleasured even in the absence of other stimulation. When used in conjunction with other pleasurable stimuli, well, hence the name. It is very potent and safest when used in small amounts. It is also edible though is an acquired taste.

"I am familiar enough with your other potions to have some idea what the phrase 'acquired taste' means."

"I do not intend to feed it to you on a biscuit. Even if I did, I doubt you would care at all how it tastes. The effects are immediate and last about twenty minutes- not that either of us shall be in any state to keep track of the time."

"Slather away, Potions Master!"

"On your hands and knees facing the headboard."

"Arse in your face, in other words?"

"Knees spread. In fact, brace your head on the pillow and spread yourself for me with your hands."

"You really are a bossy git. You do know that, right? Guess it's a good thing I don't have to fart right now. Ouch! Would you -please- stop pinching me?"

"I may, providing that you can maintain some level of manners befitting to those of us with opposable thumbs."

Snape lifted the lid, dipped his left forefinger in the jar, and gasped. He simply stared at his finger for a moment and then touched the fingertip to Harry's entrance.

"Ooo cold. No, warm. Oh! Wow!"

"Indeed."

Severus watched as Harry's breathing deepened and became ragged.

"Touch me again."

Severus did, this time running his fingertip in an ever-widening spiral to cover more area ever so slowly. Harry began to quiver and moan at the touch. Then Severus changed directions minimizing the spiral back to its center. Harry was pushing back against him now trying to impale himself on that finger. As Harry moved, so did Severus, pulling his finger back teasingly to maintain only the softest contact.

"Please! More!"

"Of course, Harry," Severus crooned softly sliding his finger into him. Harry came shuddering and keening upon penetration. His thigh muscles shook with the unnatural intensity of the experience. Having a finger inside of Harry feeling the undulating muscles was, because of the lubricant, immensely pleasurable. That in itself would have been enough had Severus wanted to come. He did not, not for as long as he could hold out or until Harry begged him to stop.

"That stuff's well named," Harry said when he could manage to cobble a coherent thought together.

Severus had kept his left index finger inside Harry. He dipped the tip of the thumb of his right hand into the ointment and then reached around Harry to spread the tiny dab into the slit of Harry's cockshead. When Harry moaned and thrust he pulled his hand away.

"Holy Fuck! Sorry. I had to swear. You can go right ahead and pinch any part of me you want though!"

"Such language and sentiment are perfectly acceptable now. Besides, at the present time I'd much prefer to do this to you."

Severus carefully worked another finger into Harry.

"Oh yes! Oh God! I can't believe I'm hard again."

"You may call your god Severus if you wish it."

"Severus. Thank you."

Severus twisted his fingers nudging Harry's prostate.

"Oh fuck! Do that again! No, just fuck me, Severus! Please?"

"All in good time." Severus said trailing his lips over Harry's back, then taking hold of Harry's cock, rubbing his thumb over the slit smearing a thin line of Insanity down the hilt, before taking Harry's bulk in hand while still massaging his prostate from the inside. "Right now, I want you to come again just for me, Harry."

Harry did come, saying the name of his god and cursing a lot, watching in awe as Severus' elegant magic-making hand milked the bounty of his pleasure with a deft, firm grip.

When Insanity wore off, and Harry had collapsed for the time being into a well satisfied lump, Severus performed cleaning spells, then got comfortable, and pulled Harry to him curling him in his arms. They stayed that way stroking each other occasionally; Severus licking which ever part of Harry looked particularly enticing; Harry playing with Severus' hands.

"Severus, may I ask you something?"

Severus managed not to tense. "What is it?"

"What made you change your mind about getting close to me?"

"What do mean, exactly?"

"When we started I knew you were keeping your distance in case I died or something. I understood why you'd want to do that. What made you change your mind? Don't misunderstand. I'm glad you did. I like us like this! I was just wondering really."

"Perhaps I realized that if something should happen to one of us that I would miss you." And because I am but a lonely bishop moved at whim from side to side destined never to see the end-game.

Harry reached out to stroke his fingers through greasy hair.

"I'd miss you too, Severus. But wait! We could probably haunt each other if we try hard enough!"

Severus rolled slightly to the right to look Harry in the eye. "Do not tempt me."

"I do think we both -should- at least consider the option."

"Very well. I will consider it."

It was the only promise that Harry asked of him. So, it was the only one Severus had to make. Knowing the subject of conversation badly needing changing, Severus slipped down to coax Harry to hardness and release with his skillful mouth.

The suction did not end when Harry came yet again, however. In no time Harry was sucked to hardness again. Severus pulled his mouth away kissing him everywhere except where Harry so badly wanted to be kissed. Severus thrust his tongue into Harry's mouth instead and pushed his cock to fill Harry's well stretched, well lubricated body. To Harry, it almost felt like he had never had sex with Snape before tonight. They had never done anything like this, face to face, kissing, touching, holding hands, holding each other. Harry wrapped his legs around this man now his lover, once just his beloved intruder. He arched his back and clenched his buttocks rocking at that perfect angle into each of Severus' slow, deep thrusts. The Insanity was gone. All that was left was an over-abundance of emotion that leaked from him. It leaked from his eyes. It leaked from his cock. It leaked from his very heart. Harry was so desperately glad to have the chance to share it. "Severus, come into my mind. Right now."

Severus joined him in time to experience Harry's orgasm, a veritable kaleidoscope of sensation and emotion, just before spilling his own darker passions copiously and anonymously into Harry.

After that, they held and kissed for a short while. Finally Harry who was completely exhausted and slightly dehydrated, fell asleep using Snape for a pillow.

Snape did not sleep. He did not want to miss one single second of having the boy to hold on to, to hold safe in his arms. He knew that once morning came he never again would have Harry Potter. In Harry's absence he would have these memories of Harry that no one not Dumbledore, not the Dark Lord, not even Harry Potter, could steal from him while he lived.

Just before dawn, Harry's eyelashes fluttered open against Severus' cheek. Snape nuzzled Harry's face with his nose.

"Hello, Beautiful." Harry's morning voice was ragged, deep, and sexy. His morning breath quite possibly could slay a Dark Lord but could not dissuade the amorous attentions of a Half-Blood Prince. Snape rolled them both over so that Snape was on top.

"Beautiful, am I?" Snape's velvet voice caressed Harry's ear as long, elegant, sadistic fingers sought Harry's ribs to torment. Snape found himself delighted by how the boy squealed and twitched and by all the laughter released like a joyful offering to the universe, as opposed to more empty sacrifice. In between rather vicious bouts of tickles Snape said things like, "So, I am beautiful! How could this possibly be, hmm?"

"Severus!"

"Could it be that I am beautiful because you left your glasses on the other side of these rooms, Mr. Potter?"

"NO!"

"Could it be that I am beautiful because your eyes are closed, perhaps?"

"I'd open them if you'd stop tickling me!"

"Ah, I must be beautiful because it's completely dark in here anyway."

"No you silly git!" Harry caught Snape's hands that seemed as fleet and evasive as snitches and pulled them above his own head, so that in effect, both their hands were pinned. Breathing hard still Harry finally managed to answer his question properly, "You're beautiful because I love you, Severus."

He listened to Harry's voice. He brought his nose close breathing in the boy's scents. He touched and tasted Harry and perhaps because he could not see him as well as he wanted in the dark he reached out and kissed Harry's mind with his own. For all his trouble Severus could sense nothing but the truth in what Harry had said.

That was when it happened.

Severus Snape who never forgot exactly what he was doing, forgot what he was doing completely. He forgot Dumbledore, Dumbledore's bloody plans, their collective bleak future, and his own desolate past. Snape lived entirely in the moment under a comforter on top of his own beloved. In that moment both of them were as happy as either of them ever had been or ever would be again. In the scheme of things, it was nothing so very important, just one shining moment in time when Harry Potter and Severus Snape were happy together.

...thanks for reading! All feedback is appreciated more than is realistically healthy.


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